Something Called Emotion

People have feeling. They feel everything. They react to everything around them. We could show our feeling to others in order to create a situation that we want. Why I say a situation (or may be condition). Why did not I say a relationship? Recently, I have experienced so many feelings but it is not just a feeling but I realize it by my awareness as a human being that my feeling or I would like to call it my emotion would create such a situation and condition with others. This emotion I perceive that everyone notices by themselves when they grown up and learn the slice of life, the sweetness and the bitterness sides of life. It is quite wonderful   since I realize it.

I am so called a bad temper person. Sometimes just a little tiny pieces of problem could ignite the fire in my heart. Just a little mistake and I would cry for nothing actually. And I realize it I cry because I want to cry. On Sunday I had a fight with my younger sister just because she brought the boarding house key with her while she was having fun with others. I could wait actually. I was very very very much mean to her. I mean that she just got me in this place because we are far away from home. And I was so blind to mock her. I really felt bad about myself. I was so sorry for her because I was so mean, rude, selfish, and unbelievable that I did not have a abit of thought about how she was feeling towards me when I said something bad about her since I am her older sister.

My emotion is always unstable every time when I have my period. I will be very rude and cannot control myself so I just will speak my heart out without even thinking what I am saying would hurt others and my lovely sister who was actually not really guilty in this case . It was me who created the bad situation now, my feeling, my emotion because I could not control it well. I would try to tame my emotion. I have to.

To adapt with others we have to restrain ourselves that is what I think. Though I love Sherlock Holmes so much and Sherlock BBC (he is sociopathic), I am no him. Although Sherlock cannot make friend easy but he always has John and he values John most in his Life as best friend. What I am trying to say is that he is able to maintain his relationship well in his own way. That's wonderful, I think.

I have to value people around me not because it will please them but it also reciprocates. The feeling, the emotion of happiness in sharing will also bring joyful in life. That’s why I am not gonna lost with my emotion again. Because there are so much happiness out there if can put aside the bad emotion like shy (why I have to be shy if I don’t commit wrong doing, it is such a foolish notion) and the anger. But, yes talking about emotion and feeling there are so many forms of them. I  am no expert.  I am just jotting down everything that cross my mind now.

I am really really sorry my little sister.